When I heard that Jerry Bruckheimer was developing a film based on the videogame Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, I was excited. After all, he’s produced some of my favorite films, most recently the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, and I figured if anybody could turn the property into entertaining popcorn, he could. Then they made their biggest mistake. Now, it’s not that I’m not a fan of Mike Newell. On the contrary, I think that he has plenty of good ideas and executes some of them to perfection. He just doesn’t have the vision for epic fantasy. He doesn’t. His last attempt was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and it’s one of the weakest films in the franchise. He pulls together terrific production teams from all over the world and generates fairly bland and uninteresting movies, without any of the touches that make such films work on a thematic level. Sure it’s probably not entirely his fault, as the script is also a terrible adaptation, but it takes a special person to both revive and bury the Arabian swashbuckler in a single film.

Now, onto the film itself. On the surface, this is exactly the kind of movie you’d want to see. Dashing prince, beautiful princess, a villainous uncle, and a dagger that can turn back time. How do you screw that up? I guess the biggest issue here is that there’s really no sense of danger to the proceedings at all. They travel around a lot, but you’re never really sure why they move from place to place, or where they’re going. The dialogue is crisp and fun, but it never rises to the level of Pirates at their worst. The landscapes are beautiful, especially on Blu-Ray, but pretty pictures don’t tell a great story, and it should’ve been a great story. The videogame has one of the more interesting narratives in the medium, with a castle full of sand monsters, betrayals, intrigue, and no love story in sight. The game’s creator sold out to Hollywood on this one, and the romance has become the central plot of a story that had no romance to begin with. Maybe that’s why it felt so forced. Whatever this is, it isn’t Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Come up with a different subtitle and say it’s an original story, because basically that’s what it is.

In reality, the only thing that saves the film is the acting talent involved. Alfred Molina in particular is very entertaining here, and seems to have become a go-to Bruckheimer star (see: Sorcerer’s Apprentice). Jake Gyllenhaal does great as well, clearly working quite hard at the gym to get into princely shape. His delivery keeps things honest, and had he had a better leading lady, he may well have been able to generate some real chemistry. Unfortunately,

he’s working off of Gemma Arterton, who, despite her blockbuster filmography, is not even close to being a great actress. She may have a good agent, but looks only get you so far in this business. I’d cough up the cash to see a sequel, even if it just turns out to be more of the same. Entertainment is entertainment, and there’s plenty of popcorn left to be consumed.

Extras:

The special features are an interesting blend of the unnecessary and the excessive. For one thing, we don’t need the copious amounts of trailers and advertizing that have been unceremoniously jammed onto the disc courtesy of the fine folks at Disney. The second disc contains a DVD copy of the film with a decent length making-of documentary and a deleted scene, both in standard definition. On the Blu-Ray, there’s an overly elaborate and intensive behind the scenes portfolio of tiny tidbits that can be accessed by hitting a button while watching the film. They have an index as well, so you can make sure you don’t miss anything, but they do not have a “Play All” button, which makes selecting individual 2 minute clips a very frustrating experience. At least they’re in HD.