Review By: Staff
Review by: Faetra Petillo
And just when we thought nothing could surpass Gigli"Â¦ Let me start out by saying that truly, honestly, I wish I could be sitting here writing something different about this movie than what oh"Â¦ every other critic in the free world wrote. I wish I could say that the idea was brilliant, and if only the movie was made years ago the world would be a better place free of awful paparazzi photographers. Unfortunately, my integrity gets the better of me.
The film is based on the hard life of one millionaire actor Bo Laramie (played by Cole Hauser). New to fame, Bo is strangely surprised and agitated that paparazzi photographers have become obsessed with stalking and finding virtually every opportunity to photograph him and his family. One night, after a film premier Bo is car chased by four photographers into an awful car accident that leaves his seven-year-old son in a coma. (Princess Diana much?). When the authorities can do little to nothing to help him, Bo (are you ready for this one?) takes matters into his own hands and vows revenge on the photographers that are destroying his family. In the end, Bo's intelligence, passion, and action-star body prevail over everything, apparently even the law.
This review cannot go any further without some much needed medical advice. If you are epileptic, please for your own personal safety, refrain from seeing Paparazzi. I promise you, you won't be missing out on much. I say this because roughly ever twenty minutes or so you will experience what I affectionately refer to as " a flash sequence,"Â during which you as a viewer, will become the actor, with literally hundreds of photographs being taken directly at the camera at once. I guess they wanted to evoke sympathy for actors who have to constantly deal with having their picture taken. You know, make us feel their pain and how irritating it is to be photographed incessantly and blinded every time you open your eyes. Yea, it was irritating. Except where are my millions of dollars for putting up with it? All it did was make me develop a hatred for whoever's idea this was, and by the movies end, a slight twitch in my left eye.
I think what is so aggravating about this movie was not that it was SO bad, but that it should have been amazing. For at least the past decade, the American public has seen countless star vs. paparazzi blowups, fistfights, and lawsuits. We can't pick up an issue of "Star"Â magazine without feeling some form of disgust towards this form of media. Paparazzi photographers are pretty awful. They violate almost every form of privacy a person has, print lies, stalk, provoke fights"Â¦the list is endless.
You know, one would think so. All that this movie needed to do to be worth while, was just tell the truth. That's it. All I wanted to see was a really nice, hard working actor being abused by a photographer and unable to get the justice he deserved and my empathy would be achieved. This is what Paparazzi I think (at least I hope), set out to do but failed miserably. Rather than just tell a simple story they made it so ridiculous it was laughable. I don't think the screenplay could have possibly got any worse. The dialogue was so atrocious I can't believe the actors could keep a straight face. At one point, someone actually says the line, "Laramie, I want to destroy your life and eat your soul."Â Where does a movie go from there? With the exception of Dennis Farina as the good intentioned cop, the acting itself left much to be desired, but somehow I can't quite entirely blame it on the actors. What does one do with such awful writing?
As awful as the dialogue was, at least up until the accident scene the plot looked like it was at least headed somewhere, then when Bo went crazy and started going after the photographers undercover style, I almost couldn't bear to watch. He just became so ludicrous, and such a nut case, I couldn't justify what he was doing at all, and frankly, I don't know how anyone in this production did either. Are they trying to say that if you're a movie star and people piss you off it's ok to murder? That's certainly how the ending came across to me.
It's not that the movie is totally worth skipping. If you aspire to be a filmmaker please watch this to learn what not to do. Don't turn a good realistic concept into a surreal action flick. Other than that the only good thing about the film is a handful of some hilarious celebrity cameos including none other than Mr. Gibson himself.
Movie Grade: D
DVD Grade: D (no special features could redeem this one)
Overall Grade: D