I’m not a fan of Harry Potter. I haven’t watched the films, haven’t read the novels, I haven’t tasted the foul labeled jellybeans gracing the counter at my favorite bookstore, and I don’t understand the rules to Quidditch (although the thought of cross checking someone 100 feet off the ground does sound appealing). I tried my best to educate myself through the use of YouTube videos and blogs compressing the history of the Potter Universe and going in to this film, the seventh in the series, I felt like I was prepared to venture with Potter into this last journey against the evil Lord Voldemort. I was ready to witness awesome wizard battles, cool spell enchantments, interesting characters, and more of the stuff that made Harry Potter a huge blockbuster series of books and films. One hundred and twenty minutes after embarking on my first Potter foray, after the spells were cast and chess pieces put in place for the inevitable final film, I felt…cheated.

The Deathly Hallows follows Harry, Hermione, and Weasley as they embark on a final quest to destroy the horcruxes that contain the essence of Lord Voldemort. While not back at full strength yet, Voldemort has employed a band of goons to help him find and kill Harry Potter (to which the evil lord proclaims Harry is his to kill alone). So, thus is the premise for this chapter in the Harry Potter saga: Harry and The Order of the Phoenix must find the remaining artifacts to destroy and thus end the life of Voldemort, whilst the dark wizard must stop Harry from doing so.

It’s a very simple premise; I try to kill you and you try to kill me and whoever does the deed first wins. The problem with this is that the concept does not warrant 120 minutes of screen time, and it shows throughout much of the film. Harry and his mates have no clue where the remaining horcruxes are, and we, just like our protagonists, just float about much of the film thinking and conversing about what to do. Every now and then, Voldemort’s goons find Harry and our heroes have to flee to another hiding place where they once again strike up verbal drivel that fans of the series might appreciate, although I have trouble believing that, but fans of cinema will find it a thin and vague attempt at grasping at some of the essences of tension cultivated in the previous films (i.e. Harry and Weasley have a falling out over the romantic allegiance of Hermione).

I’ve heard some grumblings that perhaps the pacing of this film is simply akin to the novels, or that the reason this film plods along is that it is merely setting up the final film in the series.

Phooey to all of that. I personally don’t believe in making a film that reflects a book so precisely, otherwise all the scientific mumbo-jumbo of Matheson’s masterful I Am Legend would have transferred into a Discovery Channel series about blood work instead of a Will Smith action vehicle. I do though understand the need to appeal to Rowling’s core audience, but not at the expense of a two-hour wizarding affair that in my opinion does more to destroy interest in the final film than set it up (at least to the casual Potter viewer like myself as die-hard Potter fans will ingest anything with Rowling’s name attached to it).

Hallows does do its best to separate itself from the other films by showing very early that established characters are susceptible to death, something that weighs heavily on Harry’s head as the playful days of transformation spells and conjuration kookiness is no longer present. There isn’t much humor here, instead we’re given a doleful and dismal Harry pouting his way throughout much of the scenes and with each death his smile melts closer to the ground (along with mine). The mystery and intrigue of the previous films is vacant as well, this is a straightforward frown fest.

For the Blu-ray extras (you will find none on the DVD copy) there are quite a few interesting things for fans of the series. There’s a segment featuring several of the key players playing golf and discussing their friendships on and off set, a maximum movie mode that plays as an interactive behind the scenes feature, an introspective into the scene with seven Potters, and perhaps most excitingly for some, a sneak peek at the opening scene of the final film.

I was hoping that this film would have enticed and electrified me, preparing me for Deathly Hallows part II, instead, I felt bored and uninterested in the outcome of this tale (I’m sure Harry wins, Voldemort dies, Hermione and Weasley profess their love for each other…blah, blah, blah). If anything, Hallows part I shows that the series is losing steam and becoming more predictable with every passing scene. It’s seems that this film was made strictly to pry away more money from fans by creating two pieces instead of one grand, spectacular finish but, alas, the Potter train must be stretched out for as long as possible even if cinematic quality is sacrificed in the end.